Thank God for Mickey's

It would be an understatement to say that our nation has hit a rough patch. From soaring gas prices, to the war in Iraq, to the subprime mortgage whatever, the U.S. of A is embroiled in tumultuous times. As the Dems continue to undercut themselves in an ugly, endless primary, and the Mets sleepwalk through game after game, the ruthless New York media censuring them at every turn, one thing is clear--it's time for some unity.

Enter the Golden Arches. Enter the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich.

Finally, something we can all agree upon. The debut of a new McDonald's sandwich is a major cultural event that may someday achieve federal holiday status. This particular sandwich is especially laudable, bringing together as it does the North and South in an act of true American solidarity. Moreover, the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich will rock your socks off, regardless of your gender, race, class or political affiliation. Let me break it down for you: juicy-ass white meat chicken, topped with--oh yes--butter and pickles. That's right--butter and pickles. And as if that wasn't enough, Mickey's has also introduced the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit for those ambitious enough to be up and out of the house before 10:30a.m. Hallelujah.

Thank you, Mickey's. Thank you for doing your part to help right the ship in these trying times. Thank you for providing a beacon of light and a moment of respite, however fleeting, during these days of turmoil. Thanks for giving us kickass chicken sandwiches. With butter. And pickles.