Friday, May 23, 2008

game review: Grand Theft Auto IV



In Grand Theft Auto IV, the long-awaited new chapter in the wildly popular franchise from Rockstar Games, the player takes control of Niko Bellic, a sardonic badass and Serbian immigrant who steps off the boat and immediately becomes entangled in the criminal underworld of Liberty City. Niko, brilliantly voiced by Michael Hollick, is about as charming as stone cold killers come; his "What, me worry?" attitude and low-key sense of humor help him navigate the city's web of drug dealers and other sordid gangsters (as well as the dating scene) with ease.

As great as Niko is, though, he's never the star of the game. That honor is reserved for the city itself, Liberty, which is really an undisguised New York, and which is as close as a console game has ever come to a living, breathing, modern metropolis. In keeping with the game's tone, this New York is always presented with some degree of derision (Times Square, here called Star Junction, is "A great place to go if you love advertising" reads the guidebook, i.e. instruction manual). But the superb attention to detail--from the Cyclone at Coney Island, to the Unisphere at the old World's Fair grounds, to the Metropolitan Opera House--betrays a great deal of affection from the game's designers, as well.

There are literally hours of pleasure to be derived from driving around the city's four boroughs (Staten Island is omitted; instead we get a portion
of suburban New Jersey) in search of your favorite landmarks. But the virtual world within Liberty, the media inside the game, is even more compelling.

Star Junction.

Back at Niko's apartment, you can watch television--for quite a long time. Choose from programming like "I'm Rich," a spoof of shows like VH1's "The Fabulous Life Of..." which is much more entertaining (and raw--apparently there's no FCC in this world) than its source material; an hysterical documentary on the history of Liberty City; and a cartoon called "Republican Space Rangers," which takes our nation's war on terror (the game's greatest source of comedic material) to other galaxies. When the shows pause for commercials, you'll see ads for the same mock products being hawked on billboards out in the street.

Hop online at an internet cafe and you can send emails that open up new missions and further your progress in the game. Stay online and surf through the boatloads of content that exist only because (1) they are hilarious, and (2) because the game creators went above and beyond with just about everything in GTA IV. Kill the head honcho at a high-profile law firm, and shortly thereafter you'll find a story about the murder on the Liberty Tree newspaper's website. Or check out one of the dozens of other sites, like CrapList.net (read: Craig's List), "an online forum where users can sell stolen bicycles and meet up at lunch to give each other hea
d" (Thankfully you can't do either of those things in the game). In many ways, this is what GTA IV is all about: scathing, pointed satire mixed with sophomoric vulgarity.

The radio commercials and talk stations, which lampoon everything from reality T.V. ("Waning With The Stars") to Axe Body Spray, work in much the same way. While listening to the news, you'll hear updates which reflect the world around you, like bridge openings or closings, for example. The music stations introduce another impressive element. While driving through Liberty City, you can tune to stations (most feature between 10 and 20 songs apiece) dedicated to genres including funk, jazz, Latin, dancehall, hip-hop, indie rock, R&B, hardcore punk--even a station that exclusively plays Bob Marley and the Wailers (with o
ne Stephen Marley track thrown in for good measure). It's an incredible cross-section of American and international popular (and not so popular) music.

Just don't call him Russian.

The true meat of the gameplay has not changed drastically from previous installments. As far as the missions go, one of the amusing caricatures for whom you work (the steroid nut, the Rasta) generally assigns you with the task of driving (or perhaps taking the subway) to a specific place in the sprawling city to pick up goods, or drop them off, or spy on someone. Regardless of what it is, you usually have to kill a guy, or lots of guys. The use of a cell phone for calling, texting, and even picture messaging (all essential, at times, in completing your tasks) is quite clever. Still, it feels pretty much the same as it did in the past few GTAs, only better: a better weapon aiming system, more nuanced assignments, and far superior graphics.

Powering through the missions and advancing the plot (Niko's backstory and his true motivations are gradually revealed) is great--when you feel like it. And that's always been the beauty of the Grand Theft Auto games: now more than ever, you play however you want. Don't feel like running guns for a thug? Snag a cop car, access the police computer, and hunt down criminals, vigilante style. Not in the mood for (that kind of) action? Hit up a strip club and get a lap dance. Hunt for ramps in deserted back alleys; rev up your engine and try a death defying jump. Try online dating. Go bowling with one of your homeboys, or hit up a pool hall, or throw darts at a dive bar. Or maybe just kick back at the crib and watch some television.

Thank God for Mickey's

It would be an understatement to say that our nation has hit a rough patch. From soaring gas prices, to the war in Iraq, to the subprime mortgage whatever, the U.S. of A is embroiled in tumultuous times. As the Dems continue to undercut themselves in an ugly, endless primary, and the Mets sleepwalk through game after game, the ruthless New York media censuring them at every turn, one thing is clear--it's time for some unity.

Enter the Golden Arches. Enter the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich.

Finally, something we can all agree upon. The debut of a new McDonald's sandwich is a major cultural event that may someday achieve federal holiday status. This particular sandwich is especially laudable, bringing together as it does the North and South in an act of true American solidarity. Moreover, the Southern Style Chicken Sandwich will rock your socks off, regardless of your gender, race, class or political affiliation. Let me break it down for you: juicy-ass white meat chicken, topped with--oh yes--butter and pickles. That's right--butter and pickles. And as if that wasn't enough, Mickey's has also introduced the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit for those ambitious enough to be up and out of the house befor
e 10:30a.m. Hallelujah.

Thank you, Mickey's. Thank you for doing your part to help right the ship in these trying times. Thank you for providing a beacon of light and a moment of respite, however fleeting, during these days of turmoil. Thanks for giving us kickass chicken sandwiches. With butter. And pickles.